Friday, June 7, 2013
When Your Broken Down & Empty
When the time comes for you to see, all that I have yet to be. I hope you choke on all you said, filled with hatred that had no end. Like parchment on paper, you sealed the deal that day. All the words you say; they will never go away. Time will pass, like the running stream and soon will freeze and lose its gleam. But where will we stand when that day comes, side by side or down under and above?
Leave it Blank
A string of words tied together
to form sentences
Sound pretty great on paper, but
do they really mean anything?
Words are words and as far as I
can see, your words on paper mean shit to me.
For years I thought that a man’s
word was gold, but now I see the only words a person should keep are their own.
I’d rather receive a white blank
page, with no words to complicate the message being conveyed.
Leaving no room for let ups or
let downs, only the positivity of the unknown to lead us around.
Because honestly sometimes all a person needs. Is to know that they're really all that they need.
Monday, December 10, 2012
A cup of coffee with a side of reminiscing.
Mornings like these is when I remember home.
The smell of coffee and the distant drone of the coffee pot waking up with the rest of the house.
I hear the rain hitting the top of the roof, and I remember how you always said you loved that noise.
I'm far older than I should be, and that's also something you used to say. It was more in the form of an apology but at the time I thought it was just a phase. But oh how I wish I could come running home to you now. To hear you opening the back door and for me to come running down the stairs.
For mom, oh that beautiful woman to be singing in the kitchen and making so much noise, kinda like I do now. Oh its crazy how much I'm like that woman now, I used to resent it but now at times I almost revel in it. Its like I'm the only thing that reminds myself of home, because neither of you are really there and I find that oh so wrong.I don't blame you anymore though, don't worry about that. I used to, but the time for holding grudges is long gone and its easier to just remember how much I know you truly loved me at one time.
Remember having dinner at the kitchen table? I do to a T.
All four of us with our own spots, and I don't think we ever changed. You were always at the head of the table with mom on your right and I next to her and your son next to you. Those meals were always so good. I cook now, I don't know if I can hold a candle to mom's cooking but I cook now...
Remember when we'd take trips out to the city. A dinner at Lombardo's a movie after that? Those were such fond memories I have seemingly forgotten after all this time...
But on mornings like these they come crawling back to me and I find myself there once again. I'm not complaining, I have a great life. But sometimes you know all too well it gets hard. You would know, because its exactly why I'm here and your there and we all have fallen apart and are torn.
Oh the burden we carry is so vast and so deep, No surmount of time can make it feel new. Each one of us a different story, each one with a different point of view. And although I obviously can relate the most to myself I can't help but think of your poor boy. Growing up without you was hell for me but for him, he lost all of his joy. The shell we've enveloped ourselves in is miles thick, and impenetrable to the core. No one can come in, many have tried and to our dismay we still prevail. But it'd be nice if one day, this could all wash away and we could be human once more.
The smell of coffee and the distant drone of the coffee pot waking up with the rest of the house.
I hear the rain hitting the top of the roof, and I remember how you always said you loved that noise.
I'm far older than I should be, and that's also something you used to say. It was more in the form of an apology but at the time I thought it was just a phase. But oh how I wish I could come running home to you now. To hear you opening the back door and for me to come running down the stairs.
For mom, oh that beautiful woman to be singing in the kitchen and making so much noise, kinda like I do now. Oh its crazy how much I'm like that woman now, I used to resent it but now at times I almost revel in it. Its like I'm the only thing that reminds myself of home, because neither of you are really there and I find that oh so wrong.I don't blame you anymore though, don't worry about that. I used to, but the time for holding grudges is long gone and its easier to just remember how much I know you truly loved me at one time.
Remember having dinner at the kitchen table? I do to a T.
All four of us with our own spots, and I don't think we ever changed. You were always at the head of the table with mom on your right and I next to her and your son next to you. Those meals were always so good. I cook now, I don't know if I can hold a candle to mom's cooking but I cook now...
Remember when we'd take trips out to the city. A dinner at Lombardo's a movie after that? Those were such fond memories I have seemingly forgotten after all this time...
But on mornings like these they come crawling back to me and I find myself there once again. I'm not complaining, I have a great life. But sometimes you know all too well it gets hard. You would know, because its exactly why I'm here and your there and we all have fallen apart and are torn.
Oh the burden we carry is so vast and so deep, No surmount of time can make it feel new. Each one of us a different story, each one with a different point of view. And although I obviously can relate the most to myself I can't help but think of your poor boy. Growing up without you was hell for me but for him, he lost all of his joy. The shell we've enveloped ourselves in is miles thick, and impenetrable to the core. No one can come in, many have tried and to our dismay we still prevail. But it'd be nice if one day, this could all wash away and we could be human once more.
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Why do you harbor so much pain.
Such a fragile soul that talks such a big game.
I know who you are and I love the real you.
Don't do this to yourself darling, all this can only come back to haunt you.
In a world full of choices you can go wherever you choose.
I know you can do it and you do too.
So put down your shield and start anew.
There's so much love that wants to be given to you.
I just hope you see it soon, because to be honest this just isn't you.
Such a fragile soul that talks such a big game.
I know who you are and I love the real you.
Don't do this to yourself darling, all this can only come back to haunt you.
In a world full of choices you can go wherever you choose.
I know you can do it and you do too.
So put down your shield and start anew.
There's so much love that wants to be given to you.
I just hope you see it soon, because to be honest this just isn't you.
Happiness is a Warm Gun
Play your game & I'll play mine.
The only difference is you cant read between my lines.
My shades are drawn, your a master of your art,its all out on the table with you from the start.
All the pain, and hurt, and shame. Please don't even speak my name.
Maybe I deserve everything I get, I just haven't figured out why yet.
So play your game & I'll play mine.
The only difference is you cant read between my lines.
So many nights of unspoken truths, coated with alcohol and spiked with proof.
How much longer can this possibly last, constantly digging up each others past.
We share a weakness you and I, we both want to be loved, but swear its a lie.
So go on play your game & I'll play mine.
The only difference is you can't read between my lines.
This is the final hand I swear its true, after this I'll be completely done with you.
I'll move on to something real, something that I can really feel.
I'm all in and so are you. The verdict is here, I let my shades fall. You call my bluff and get it all.
So play your game & I'll play mine.
The only difference is, you know you'll always be able to read between my lines.
The only difference is you cant read between my lines.
My shades are drawn, your a master of your art,its all out on the table with you from the start.
All the pain, and hurt, and shame. Please don't even speak my name.
Maybe I deserve everything I get, I just haven't figured out why yet.
So play your game & I'll play mine.
The only difference is you cant read between my lines.
So many nights of unspoken truths, coated with alcohol and spiked with proof.
How much longer can this possibly last, constantly digging up each others past.
We share a weakness you and I, we both want to be loved, but swear its a lie.
So go on play your game & I'll play mine.
The only difference is you can't read between my lines.
This is the final hand I swear its true, after this I'll be completely done with you.
I'll move on to something real, something that I can really feel.
I'm all in and so are you. The verdict is here, I let my shades fall. You call my bluff and get it all.
So play your game & I'll play mine.
The only difference is, you know you'll always be able to read between my lines.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Realism
It's crazy how we can perceive people as being one way when in all actuality they are something entirely different. When did it become necessary to hide your inner self and come across as something entirely different than what you really stand for. Recently I've met a slew of new people, although I have obviously connected more with some over others; overall I had formed a general consensus that all of these people were in good character. After tonight however I feel as though I was put under a great false pretense. Lying, stealing, backstabbing, and outlandish lies; all that I would have never imagined to be real. As crazy as it seems to me I really don't know why I am finding it to be such an unbelievable thing. If you really think about it, what constitutes as a reputable amount of time to say that you really know a person. I can tell you one thing, a matter of months is definitely not it. I have a very selective group of friends and family that I consider to be truer than true to me. Although I consider myself an extremely outgoing person that loves to meet new people, after this tid bit of a wake up call I can honestly say that staying in my "inner circle" so to speak really does not seem the least bit unappealing to me. It takes people years to be able to find out the ins and outs of the people that they are close with, I mean hell we are constantly learning new things about ourselves all the time; how could someone else possibly say that they know us in our entirety. I just don't know; instead of rambling on and on about this I guess what I'm really trying to say is. Keep your friends close, the ones that really matter and the ones that you know will never leave you. Love them, cherish them, never leave their sides no matter what problems or changes may arise in any of your lives. To be able to say that I have a group of friends that I have kept for the last four years and have grown with, shared so many memories both good and bad with and that I we are still all together today happier and stronger than ever; that is something I never want to let go of and I don't think I will.
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