Saturday Morning Epiphanies

I woke up with the overwhelming feeling that we are predisposed to where we really belong. Life has a knack for bringing us back to where we belong, even if we stray away, forget, or try to avoid what we know is meant for us. I remember being a young girl and having an obsession with writing. I'd walk around and tell everyone that I was going to be a writer when I grew up. It wasn't until my sister told me that it wasn't possible that I stopped writing all together. It took almost 15 years for me to rediscover writing while I was living in Long Island and when I did all of those feelings that originally had hit me came back again. Its the same thing with school, I always wanted to go to college. A series of events lead me to not be able to go right out of high school but now here I am completing my Associates in May and carrying on my degree. Its even in the little things. How on Saturdays no matter what I am going to hit my snooze button a million times until its 10 in the morning and I absolutely have to wake up in order to get ready for work. This all may seem like useless banter but I must say for the first time in almost 6 months now I feel at ease. When things start falling into place people naturally wonder what's going to go wrong. Life is hard and when people are used to being told that they can't or that it'd be too hard that is naturally what occurs. The truth is that I don't think life needs to be hard. Our lives have been engrained in us like our DNA. We have choices, which will lead us to our experiences, but we will always make it back to where we really belong. That is life in all its beauty. So on this Saturday while you're waking up take a moment to really think about what you've always wanted out of life. Whether you find yourself surrounded by everything you've ever wanted or you're completely off course; know that you will get there and you will be happy.

Tangle me in your web of silence.
So intricate and serene.
I travel for miles through the ocean of your eyes.

Lunch with a Ghost

He sits in the booth intended for four, head raised but eyes only on the mediocre food on his plate. A man touched with half a life time's age and a spark that can still be found in his ever graying eyes. There he sits alone everyday as if waiting for someone to sit down and join him, though he is the only one that knows no on will ever come.

Years of sharing meals with her have given him a lasting impression of what it means to enjoy the company of another. And though those times have long passed, in his mind he will never eat alone again. Lunch with a ghost doesn't produce much conversation but it beats being alone in your silence.

The Recurring Dream of You

Pt 1

An unfamiliar place. You leave me alone. Faced with two problems that are one in the same, I give up. Engulfed in anger, fright, and pain. Even writing it I can feel it all wash over me again. I wake up next to you. There's a knot in my stomach, I swear you know what I'm thinking. I'm hit with the realization that things can't be this way. We don't talk.

Pt 2

Your home. Faced with the same two problems, though now we are both there, both facing them. I felt good. We go to bed. Hell breaks loose, my problem coming to light. I convey that I should go home and you agree. I don't go. We hold each other and I nestle into you. Even now I am consumed with a sense of calm. I wake up thinking the only thing that would have made this morning better would be if I'd woken up next to you.

Where do we go from here?

Tom Cat lying in the stained glass window catching the last rays of today's sun.
Lazy motherfucker.
Can I have one of your lives?

Marb Reds and Sushi
Coffee and a Banana.
Today's entrée of choice.
And all that's really starving is my soul

Your a Massochist for Falling for Me

I remember that it was painful. The kind of dull sadistic pain that leaves an imprint on wherever it falls. It hurt to see that smile. Not because it wasn't beautiful because believe me you've never seen a smile like his before. It hurt because I was faced with the fact that I was no longer the reason why that smile was there. Moments are fleeting, days blend into one another and then you blink and one day you realize all that you thought you had isn't there anymore. And that's ok. I think that sometimes we are given experiences soely for the purpose of keeping hope alive. When you find something that just works and your astounded that anything could ever be so simple yet so complex. I run from comfort. When things become natural I I can’t help but think its the end. All those nights spent dancing through your well lived in rooms; rooms I had no right to be in but you welcomed me anyway. I got comfortable. That night walking into your house, taking my shoes off by the foyer, putting my coat down on the same chair, walking back to your kitchen to pour a glass of wine…I felt suffocated. I played the rest of the night out in my head before it even happened and that scared me. Looking back I see I felt the same pain that I feel now. I’d give anything to be comfortable again…